Biden's 3 AM Phone Call

It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. But there’s a phone in Joe Biden's house and it’s ringing.

"Huh...What the...Hello"

"Joe it's me Barry. Man you gotta take the VP spot."


"Dude it's like 3 o'clock in the frikin morning. And we've already been over this!"

"I know Joe but I really need you man. I can't get anyone else to take the job, and the convention is Monday, and if I don't find someone by then I'll have to take that bitch and her husband, and..."

"Take a breath man you aint on the pipe again are ya?. What about that congressman from Texas? What's his name?"

"Fell out of his chair laughing then dissed me by telling the press how honored he was to be vetted. Bastard! You gotta help me! Joe look, lets uh um be ahh... honest. I need someone who already knows the world’s leaders, knows the military — someone tested and ready to lead in a dangerous world. That's you Joe, to a MF "T". If I was there right now I'd knuckle bump ya bro, you da man!"

"That would be me alright. But look, it really is a crappy job and....

"Come on man look what Cheney was able to do. You'd be the power behind the throne!"

....As you know I really like John McCain and I was the one that said that "your not ready and the presidency is not something that lends itself to on-the-job training,'"

"Water under the bridge, under the bridge. You can even call me articulate if you want. Please Joe, tell me you'll do it?" Pleeeeease....sob sob sob

It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. Are you sure you want to read that text message?