Feeding the Loons

For the folks that believe the X Files was a documentary, the Cedar River Rag today called upon the government to respond to new allegations that its version of events in the attacks on the World Trade Center are incorrect. Although the paper believes that debunking all conspiracies is a waste of time and money, this one somehow contains less bunk than the rest and merits government investigation.
The government spent $35 million on its report of the tragedy. At this point it is up to the historians to write the historical narrative of these times, and leave the loons to their vices.

There are a couple of things I am curious about though, that they surely should answer.
Is Bill Gates the head of the Department of Alien Technology?
Who really is running the world? ( I am looking for a new job and would make a heck of a benevolent despot. Where do I apply?)
What's up with all these pesky black helicopters?

Come on, fess up. We know the truth is out there.